True Beauty In Life

To my baby girl Kathryn!!!

Kathryn, If I had to describe you in 3 words it would be fUnNy, CuT3, CrAzIi, Your adorable, we became like best friends thru facebook and we now can't stop talking to each other <3 your my other new best friend we connected the first day we started talking and you make me smile each day and everyday we talk and I love the fact that you make me smile either way we can't see each other! You fun to talk to, we hold GREAT conversations and they are VERY interesting ha! but you make feel special. And I believe that we would be best friends till each and one of our lives is over with! xoxoxo By: ShElBiE SeArS <3

A letter to Brittany!

I see that, but everyday has it's faults. look past them. I know you move a lot. And I know that it always hurts. But remember the good not the bad, Think of the positive, not the negative. So what if you have to share a room with Cort! And Maybe you won't be able to have Shelbie. But memories, are what hold us together in the end. You are a surviver, girl. you will survive, no matter what!! You always have, and you always will. Never forget that. We, I, love you! and We will never let you go! =) Just enjoy where life takes you. And use it to make yourself, and the world a better place, I love you Brittany! =)

Well, Hello There,

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I'm Kat, Please enjoy my blog, and leave me a lot of comments!!!!

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"My body isn't perfect. I don't walk with confidence. I get into fights with my parents and friends. Some nights I'd rather be by myself than out partying. I cry over the smallest things sometimes. There are days that I get through forced smiles and fake laughs. Sometimes I try to convince myself that things are okay when they're not. I'm not ugly but I'm not beautiful. I don't look as good in real life as I do in pictures. There are some nights that I cry myself to sleep. I constantly think I'm not good enough. I'm imperfect, but I'm perfectly me."

Sunday, April 19, 2015

I've been thinking a lot lately about depression and I am not quite sure if we all know what it means to be, depressed. The word is thrown around very often and used in many different ways, but normally has the same-ish meaning.... You just feel down?

Lets break down "Depression" for a moment, and look at what it means.
de-pres-sion

depression is a noun, and is defined as "feelings of severe despondency and dejection"
"self-doubt creeps in and that swiftly turns into depression"

Or, we have this: "A long and severe recession in an economy or market."
"the depression in the housing market"

Let me get off of point for a moment. In my life, recently, I have discovered that I have a problem, with myself. DEPRESSION! I can't figure out the reason, why would someone like me be so down all the time, what makes me depressed... No matter how hard I try to get out of it, I can't seem to get away. Its almost like a bad relationship with an abusive partner... I can't get away from it. The more and more I fight it the worse it gets. I can't stand feeling the way I do. I feel worthless, like I'm not needed, that my life has no meaning. As I have dug further into my life to find a solution, or at least a cause, I realize that I AM THE PROBLEM! My wonderful like that I thought I was having... wasn't what I thought. When I was 15, as EVERYONE knows... I became pregnant (I don't mean that in a way of like a disease, I mean, I am not supposed to have children... and BAM there is a baby... type of thing.) Before that I was a star in class, I shinned on field... I was competing in everything. I had everything ahead of me. Life just hit too fast. I wasn't ready for what I was being faced with.. All of a sudden at 16 I was the mother of a little boy, then by 17 I was a single mother to this child... I was pulled out of school... By 18 I was back in school competing and trying to juggle a normal teenage life with my motherhood life and trying to date at the same time while making good grades and having friends... Then, at 19 I was pregnant again. After that everything hit even harder and came at me faster. I was dealing with 2 children at the age of 20. Lost our apartment, living with Adams parents. Working full time and trying to get back in school..