True Beauty In Life: March 2012

To my baby girl Kathryn!!!

Kathryn, If I had to describe you in 3 words it would be fUnNy, CuT3, CrAzIi, Your adorable, we became like best friends thru facebook and we now can't stop talking to each other <3 your my other new best friend we connected the first day we started talking and you make me smile each day and everyday we talk and I love the fact that you make me smile either way we can't see each other! You fun to talk to, we hold GREAT conversations and they are VERY interesting ha! but you make feel special. And I believe that we would be best friends till each and one of our lives is over with! xoxoxo By: ShElBiE SeArS <3

A letter to Brittany!

I see that, but everyday has it's faults. look past them. I know you move a lot. And I know that it always hurts. But remember the good not the bad, Think of the positive, not the negative. So what if you have to share a room with Cort! And Maybe you won't be able to have Shelbie. But memories, are what hold us together in the end. You are a surviver, girl. you will survive, no matter what!! You always have, and you always will. Never forget that. We, I, love you! and We will never let you go! =) Just enjoy where life takes you. And use it to make yourself, and the world a better place, I love you Brittany! =)

Well, Hello There,

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I'm Kat, Please enjoy my blog, and leave me a lot of comments!!!!

If you have any questions or ideas for future blogs, comment me and tell me!! =) Thanks!!

"My body isn't perfect. I don't walk with confidence. I get into fights with my parents and friends. Some nights I'd rather be by myself than out partying. I cry over the smallest things sometimes. There are days that I get through forced smiles and fake laughs. Sometimes I try to convince myself that things are okay when they're not. I'm not ugly but I'm not beautiful. I don't look as good in real life as I do in pictures. There are some nights that I cry myself to sleep. I constantly think I'm not good enough. I'm imperfect, but I'm perfectly me."

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Such a small thing...

"& just because she comes of strong DOESN'T MEAN SHE DIDN'T FALL ASLEEP CRYING. & even though she acts like nothings wrong...... Maybe, just maybe she's... really good at lying..."

You know, there is really only one thing in the world that I hate... And that's a liar... </3 Lying is not something I have ever been good at dealing with, I have been hurt far to many times to be okay with it. So, what did you do, you lied! You knew that it hurts me, that that's the one thing that would kill me... It always has been.. I've been lied to many times, and people have hurt me more than I can count. All because they didn't want to tell me the truth, because they thought the truth would hurt me. Well, im sorry but I would rather shed a tear for the truth, than smile for a lie..

Now, I am mad for no reason what so ever... Something stupid pissed me off, but I still can't seem to talk to him. I just don't want to. Not right now. I love him, more than anything, but that was stupid and hurtful.. I just can't believe he did it.. Like, it's so little and so small... What's the point of the lie. Besides, he is the greatest person I know. But, "Even the smallest lie could ruin up the biggest truth one could give to a loved one." So, I ask you, is it really worth it, is lying really worth hurting someone... Even if the truth would hurt them just as bad?

What makes someone want to lie anyways, I mean.. What part of someone's mind says.... The only choice you have, is to lie. Lie to someone and make them feel better...

IT DOESN'T WORK! IT NEVER WORKS! SO WHY EVEN FREAKING TRY!

Okay, I'm going to talk to him now. Being mad isn't something that I do well, and honestly, blogging always helps... Lol.

I love him, I love him more than anything! <3

Friday, March 2, 2012

I'm tired of being ashamed of who I am...

A message I received this morning. <3

"Its rather funny as to how things happen. I added you as a friend and have sat on the side line watching you progress into the lifestyle. At first, just like most, I figured you were just young and playing around but have really noticed a change in you for the better. I love that you are growing into your role and are opening up within the lifestyle. As most Dominants, we sit and observe before we get involved. We have seen the changes in you for the better and wanted to give you a big Congrats on this improvement. We love how you have opened up and exposed your beautiful ,sensual self to everyone through your pictures. Keep it up and when in need of assistance or knowledge,you can now count on us to help. Kisses!"

Curtis and Belinda

Now, for those of you who do not know, I am part of an online BDSM & Fetish world. The people on their are truly amazing! Most people would be like, "Whatever, it's just porn.." But that's the thing, it's not porn.. Not to 90% of the people on there.. It's a way of expressing yourself without being criticized by the cruelty of the world. I do love it, very much. Mostly because I like learning about people... But, being able to be who I am, the way I am... Openly.. It's, it simply amazing!

I just really wanted to thank everyone on there for helping me become more comfortable with myself! I really do love you guys!!