^_^

"I want to wear your sweatshirt to bed, watch scary movies with you, talk on the phone until sunrise, sneak out at night to look at the stars with you, play your favorite video game. Make you Watch chick flicks, kiss you in the rain, go on walks with you, laugh until I can't breathe, hold hands, build a fort and have a snowball fight, sit in front of the fireplace and talk about life. I want to fall hopelessly in love with you!"

Well, as all of you can see, I am back with the love of my life, the most amazing man I have ever met. The man that not only made me fall in love with him, 3 years ago, but someone I have cared for, for the past 7 years. He always has me smiling, and laughing. I can't help but just be happy around him. Adam gives me everything no one else has ever been able to give, happiness. <3 

When I was 12, I first ran into Adam on a church bus. I was new and had made friends with his brother, JC (who is now my best friend). I HATED Adam, with a passion! I didn't like the way he acted, I didn't like the way he dressed.. I didn't like the way he flirted with everyone he saw! Haha, Go figure :) 

After a few months, I started trying to get to know him on Myspace, and oddly started finding him attractive. I tried, and tried, and TRIED to keep talking to him, but, he wanted NOTHING to do with me!!! Hahaha! Who would'a guessed!? He kept trying to hook me up with his friends, he knew I liked him, but wanted nothing to do with it. I don't think he even found me at all friendly.

Adam and I ended up dating a few times, because I wasn't going to give up!!! He was my first kiss, and my first love. Well, honestly, he was my only love, and always has been! 

After a few differences, we kept breaking up, thought I still stayed his. Always was, he knew that and it was like he played that to his advantage. At least, that's how I felt about it. I loved him though, so I didn't really mind, you know? I was always doing the same, no matter who either of us dated, though we were always together. He was my best friend, and I had my life planned out with him! <3 

Fast-forward to, 3 years ago.

I met a guy, Daniel.

Yes, we all know Daniel, he's my son's dad. Haha. :)

I thought that since Adam didn't want me, that I would give Daniel a shot. Not to mention I was trying to prove a point to my friend, Daniels girlfriend at the time. She thought she was so much better than everyone else, so I was going to show her that I could get whoever I wanted, including her boyfriend. I didn't intend on getting pregnant. Lol. Although, I am glad that I did. I mean, it's rough to be a young mom, and not have his father here. But, I know that my child is a miracle and that he is a very important piece of my life now.. I believe that he saved me. 

Anyways, back to my story.

I stopped talking to Adam for 2 years, thinking it would help me get over him. It didn't. SADFACE!

It made me miss him more, made me love him more... I wanted his kisses, I wanted his hugs.. I wanted his everything! I knew then, and I know now that I couldn't love anyone else. He is my one and only. he is my other half, he is my soul mate.. I hope he really knows that. About 6 months ago I started talking to Adam again, and he kept telling me that he wanted me back, and he missed me and that he didn't want to mess it up. >.< Go figure, he did. 

Every time he said he was going to come see me, he didn't. He kept standing me up, so I told him that I was tired of it, and stopped talking to him again. Haha :)

Yes, I know... I'm a bitch! <3

Around Christmas he messaged me again and was asking when I was going to take time to go see him, my reply was.... "Why would I waist time out of my life, to go see you, if you aren't going to waist your time to come see me??" Yeah, that's right, I went there!! ^_^ I told him what was on my mind, and he didn't like it! I am pretty sure that I hurt him, and it didn't bother me. Because he hurt me.

Finally, after weeks of his brother, JC, telling me that all Adam talked about was me and that he really missed me, I decided to give it a shot. I started texting him again... And one thing led to another and I got what I really wanted.. I wanted us to both be happy.. To be happy, I had to be with him. And, I am happy. I do love him, with all of my heart! <3 He's simply amazing!

Figured I would also give you all an update on how my life has been going:

• We have started clinical s at school. We go to the hospital Monday through Friday to give baths, change beds, and help with cleaning. (We arrive too late to help with feeding)
• I have a 4.0 in school, go figure! :D Be happy for me! Please :D haha
• Michael's birthday is in just 2 weeks! He will be 2, can you all believe that!!!!! <3 <3 <3 I'm super psyched! 
• Hoping to get me an apartment here soon, get myself up and running and be able to start Vlogging! That will help a lot with this! Will keep me up on here more often! 

Well, I think that's all for today, I will just give you a few photos :) I love you all, thanks for taking the time to read! <3 You are so amazing! ^_^

BULLYING STOPS HERE!

"When a resolute young fellow steps up to the great bully, the world, and takes him boldly by the beard, he is often surprised to find it comes off in his hand, and that it was only tired on to scare away the timid adventurers."

~Ralph Waldo Emerson

It's been a while since my last blog, I have decided that there are only a few things that I want to touch on, because they are so dear to my heart.

Tuesday, Jan. 31, 2012 Jacob ball, my friend, was struck by a train. Jacob was 16 and on his way home from school. A lot of accusations are out about why he was hit, and they all upset me, because if you didn't know Jacob, what right do you have to say anything. You can pretend that you know him or that it upsets you, when in all truth, you just feel bad for.... Never mind, I won't go into that, because I am trying to memorialize him, not down anyone else. I do love and miss Jacob, and I feel bad that it's been so long since I was around him. But, his memory lives on in all of us, his friends... The ones that he loved, and that loved him. 

RIP Jacob Ball

For more information about the accident please visit the link below:

http://www.herald-dispatch.com/news/x1689945862/Sophomore-at-Hurricane-High-struck-killed-by-train-Tuesday?i=0

If you could all go to Facebook and please like this page, please do. 

http://www.facebook.com/pages/In-Memory-Of-Jacob-Ball-02071995-to-01312012/274816712584524?ref=nf

I would like to touch on a sensitive subject, something that most are not going to like. I would like to talk about, Bullying. Every time I hear it, it is associated with "Kids will be kids!" No, that's not what being a kids is like, I promise you that. Life is hard enough without having someone tell you, or try to point out your differences the things that make you self concous to begin with. The things that you probably don't like about yourself. But, heres what you are supposed to understand.. Those things that make you self concous or make you different, are the good things that were given to you.. You are not supposed to be ashamed of them, you are supposed to imbrase them. Lets say you aren't a model, you are a little over weight, or you have acne really bad... SO WHAT! Life goes on. The only person that it should care what they think is you. YOU MATTER! Not anyone else. Now, im not saying go out and tell someone that they aren't beautiful because you are... No, im saying we are all beautiful, we are all different. We are all extrodinary. Just, no one seems to notice that! Why is that? Why is it I can see how amazing some people are, but they can't see it for themselves.?

When I was in 6th grade, I had a best friend, Lisa Combs. We looked just alike, we talked all the time.. She was like my sister.. Well, our friendship went down the drain all because of a few pairs of jeans. NOT KIDDING! JEANS! I was not a child with money, I had a few pairs of LEI jeans gifted to me, from a family friend, because I couldn't afford to buy my own. Lisa all of a sudden hated me! She didn't want to be around me, and when she was, she acted like there was nothing wrong. But, when she wasn't around... She was talking about me, all the time. Saying I was saying things I hadn't. Calling me horrible names because I had a pair of LEI jeans.. I will never understand that.. Why, JEANS!!!!!! >.< But, I guess that's the world of girls. Anyways: I started making myself sick so I didn't have to be at school. I was calling home everyday. After missing months worth of school, my parents got a call from the police saying if they wanted to keep me I was going to have to go to an alternative school, Prestera. (Normally was for children with behavioral disorders, or were on drugs bad!) While I was there I learned many things about myself.. I met my now very close friend, Richie there. The guys in my class gave me the self confidence that I needed to stand up for myself. They helped me understand who I truly was, and what I wanted to do in my life. (I wanted to help others that were going through bad things in there lives, I wanted to help them out of there dark places.) The day before I was to go back to school, I was on the back parking lot playing basketball with some of the guys shooting some hoops! All of a sudden Lisa comes out starting her same old crap, always about how I was stupid, or a slut... then about those STUPID JEANS! So, I took up for myself. I told her she needed to keep her mouth shut because she didn't know me, she may have thought she knew me but she didn't. She was supposed to be my friend, but instead she chose petty drama. But, I didn't blame her because she was a girl, and that's what they were good at. She decided to get in my face, and expected me to back down like all the times before, but instead I just pushed back... I told her she needed to back down because I was tired of it. Her since less drama needed to stop, she wasn't in grade school anymore. Then, I turned away, and walked off. Later that day her mom came down to see me, and thanked me for saying the things I did, because Lisa needed someone to put her in her place.. She wasn't listening to anyone.

To this day, I still love Lisa. Aside from some of the things she did, she was a great girl. She was smart, funny and when you knew her, she really was kind.

Anyways, point of the story, I may not have handled it in the best way, but I learned from the experience. Also, something I have learned here lately is that to every reaction, there is an action. Something that caused that person to act like that. So don't assume that your bully is just a bully... Try and figure out what happened that made them like that, because, they aren't just like that naturally.. <3 Well, I love you guys, BULLYING STOPS HERE! I'm doing my part.. Would you please do yours!
Please visit: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Say-NO-to-Bullying/172746566167601?sk=wall

I love you guys, and I hope you have taken at least one thing from this today. <3